3 for 30: My No Bullshit Wardrobe

 I've figured it out.

Today, my drawers and closet hold black knit tops and dresses, dark wash or black denim, and two different kinds of knit stretch pencil skirts, each in solid black, black and tan stripes, and red. I've got one pair of white Chuck Taylors, one pair of black Doc Marten boots, one pair of cognac Bass sandals, one pair of black ankle strap D'Orsay flats, one pair of running shoes. There's a heavily-worn collection of scarves, some I've hand-knit, and unique jewelry. There are several cat-eye sunglasses.

An exception to my black black black. From freshstyle.

Sprinkled among those items are a few novel things that I'll wear here and there and that I keep because I love them. But those items are greatly overshadowed by the mostly-black basics described above. I expect to feel comfortable and confident each day, and I can expect that from the wardrobe I've zeroed in on. I call it my No Bullshit Wardrobe.

How did I get to the No Bullshit Wardrobe? It took half of my life and thousands of dollars. Here are my reflections on that.

Personal Style Is Complex

Dollar Signs 

No matter how many trips I take to Buffalo Exchange, lugging overstuffed reusable grocery bags full of cat-fur-covered rompers, sweaters, and ill-fitting vintage frocks, I will never get half the money back I spent on clothes in the last nearly two decades. But, I can go forward with a frugal approach at clothes.

I was recently inspired by a "Year of No Shopping" by Bernadette over at Outfits Not Just Clothes. A practical result of her challenge was being able to pay off a lot of credit card debt. Did you ever consider how much you spend on clothes in a month?

To keep her fashion fresh, she borrowed accessories from Le Tote. Services like Le Tote and Stitch Fix may help control impulse buys. These subscription-based services send you personally curated boxes of clothing and accessories. You pay for the shipping and a "styling fee," but then only pay for the items you keep while you send back what you don't want. Not sure that they'd want this, but you could actually carefully wear something once and still send it back. That way you get a bit of style and saved some moneys!

From a shoot I did with ModCloth in a look I co-styled.

Bernadette also talks about wanting for nothing and buying clothes that don't fit yet but might if she lost weight. I have absolutely done that many, many times. My mom has done it many times. My friends have. Have you? Save yourself the money and resist the urge to buy without a clear purpose!

I'm not going to officially challenge myself to refrain from clothes shopping because my strict savings plan pretty much solves that issue for me. And, again, the No Bullshit Wardrobe does that for me too. I just don't feel the need, nor the want, to shop.

Feeling fly! THIS is what I feel like myself in.

Getting All Up in My Closet

I did three or four closet purges this year. My latest one, which got me $90, felt good. I kept seven dresses shrinking my former collection by about 75%. Some are everyday dresses, some are weekenders, some are special occasions, but they're each unique and represent pieces of my personality that still shine. They were right to keep.

I said goodbye to impostor shoes. For me, those are heels. They're not just me. Plus, I can't run in them if I need to (I made the mistake of wearing heels during snowy winter in Pittsburgh and was followed home by a creeper. Nothing terrible happened, but I always think that if it escalated, I wouldn't have been able to run well).

After the purges, I looked at what was left. It looked like me! It made me think of how David Lynch describes what turned him onto meditation. He heard someone say, "True happiness is not out there. True happiness lies within.” In this case, I was able to find part of my true self inside the clutter of my closet. I was able to find it with a little bit of willpower and tolerance for dust.

One of my favorite ways to dress.

When you feel like yourself in an outfit, don't you feel like you can do anything?

Personal Style Is, and Should Be, Complex

Though the No Bullshit Wardrobe is what I found when I stripped away clutter, the clutter wasn't always just clutter, and the remains don't totally define me.

Looking back at my wardrobe experimentations makes me cringe sometimes. My hippie phase and the later-dubbed "Young Republican" period sparks a little embarrassment. Why? Maybe because I feel that those looks don't illustrate who I know I am. Only, at the time, I didn't understand that because I was a teen. Looking back at a dozen years with as many looks shows that you've explored possibilities. It's a way of finding out who you are, and it's healthy!

Wouldn't wear this today, but it was fun at the time! Photo by Kristin Cofer.

You know now that my current everyday wardrobe stars basics. However, my whole true self is anything but basic. If I dress what could be considered boring or plain, do some people expect me to be such? Maybe. Have I been followed around the store by the proprieter while dressed in my Doc Martens? You bet. Do I care? Well, it sucks that people treat each other like that, but in short, nope, I don't care!

Looking back at the past 15 or 20 some years, I see hints of and appearances by my signature look. Through it all there were black tops, bottoms, dresses, etc. Through it all, every time I made the mistake of leaving the house in heels I had a bad day. Through it all, every single time I zipped up some kind of black leather laced boot I felt like myself.

I am what I wear and I'm not what I wear. My style is only a sliver of who I am but it's also important to me. What I wear affects how I feel. When you feel like yourself in an outfit, don't you feel like you can do anything?

Thanks for reading! This is the first part of my 3 for 30 series. Come back for the rest!