Body Positivity and Biking

Since turning 30, I've been doing things I never thought I would do. Something I did recently that never would have crossed my mind as even being a thing was riding a bike topless in public. It was possibly the best thing I've ever done.

This passed Saturday I participated in the Portland World Naked Bike Ride, a protest to draw attention to bikers' vulnerability in our dangerous car culture.

But, like many causes, each individual may chose their own purpose for participation. Yes, I dislike sharing the road with overly aggressive cars, and I believe in freeing the nipple, but what moved me most was more personal. After 31 years of being a woman in this world, I finally felt truly comfortable in my own skin.

We showed up in the park among totally or partially nude bikers (and some individuals in motorized wheelchairs) and I still wasn't ready to strip yet. There was nothing about the people around me that affected me at all--it all was very natural feeling. But, I still couldn't get myself to do it. I'm not sure why, but I felt like a poser almost. Am I really this confident? Am I really someone who does stuff like this?

My partner, who had the bag in which my clothes would be held the whole time, gave me the final warning to pack away my covers. So, just like I was standing at the edge of the pool too hyped up to jump in, I hesitated. And then I finally took the plunge. And, nothing happened, which is the best thing that could have happened.

Over the course of the ride, I grew more and more blithe. It really became so obvious and true to me how arbitrary body shaming is. You can't possibly compare yourself to others because every single person is so very different.

We met up afterwards with a few lady friends who, like me, were bursting with confidence in our bodies. No, we were strutting around like Beyonce or showing off like a bunch of exhibitionists. That's the thing. There was nothing sexy, grand, vulgar, or cheeky (hehe) about it. It was all just what it is - people naked and feeling comfortable. And, as women, that was SO remarkable.

So, I take this with me every day now.

Marathon Training Week Three

I don't have any pictures from my training this week, so here's a picture of a surfing alpaca!

Sunday RUNDAY - 5 miles.

This was a big accomplishment for me today because it was the first time I ran 5 miles in less than an hour! It took me 58 minutes, so just under, but still! It could have had to do with the fact that we ran into a slightly sketchy part of Clackamass that I was eager to get out of, but hey, it got me to push myself! Running longer than three miles at a time and to not break more than 12 minutes a mile is an accomplishment for me. Go me!

Tuesday 6/23

Nice afternoon 3 miles to 60th and Division's water fountain. Did come across a weirdo walking around grabbing his junk...which reminds me that I should think more about a "Take Back the Night" style run. It'd be really cool to lead something like that!

Wednesday 6/24

Evening run and hot as fuck. Seriously hot. Ran 4 miles somehow.

Thursday 6/25

Today was v hot again. In fact, I got dehydrated on just 3 miles. Thank goodness for the water fountain at Essex Park, just a minute walk from my apartment. I'm not sure if I would have made it all the way home.

This week was pretty good despite the heat!

Marathon Training Week Two

Sunday (long run) 6/14
Seven miles, and the ice packs to prove it.

 Oh, and just look at those tan lines...

Tuesday 6/16

As my husby ran ahead of me about a tenth of a mile, a cute elderly couple strolled by on their morning walk. The gentleman said to me, "he's running away from you!" Love old man jokes.

Wednesday 6/17

Omg, two days in a row of getting up at 6 AM to...run. I have gotten over my partial hatred of running (I think for most runners there are times when you honestly just hate it so much and wonder why you do it at all). What I have yet to get over is getting up early. I don't think I can ever truly enjoy getting up early. But, after 4 miles, it's not so bad. Could be better though.

Thursday 6/18

Tomorrow, I shall sleep until 8 am and it will be glorious. Circulation feels sluggish today. I think I'm just spent.

On Being Like, "Yep, I Failed," with a Smile

I find, for me, that there are two ways to accept failing.

One way can go like this:

I end up eating too much sugar and feeling bloated (hence the dandelion tea pictured above), depressed, agitated, and generally blhargish. WebMD convinces me I have candida poisoning and then I feel worse that I have failed so much in the most basic act of eating. Then, I sit around reading more Internet articles. I don't do any writing, none of my weight training or yoga. On and on. It's a vicious cycle (you say to yourself in the voice of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers).

Another way:

I say, "Yeah, I done effed that up." And leave it at that. And, move on.

American culture and lexicon really over-focuses on "wins." It zeros in way too much on rewarding accomplishments and achievements, the ways in which people succeed and beat the competition. And, when we fail, there's very seldom any encouragement to reflect. We're told to immediately get up, brush the dust off, and try again.

But, I don't know, maybe we can find more strength in accepting that we simply suck as some things?

Trying over and over to "win" at something  you repeatedly fail at that doesn't make you happy is very liberating.

For me the biggest thing that I have willingly packed away has been my Chloe + Isabel merchandising.

In short, it's a job that  requires a lot of things I don't have, mainly starting capital, easily accessed customers fitting the demographic, and a salesperson's personality. As far as a salesperson goes, I'm kind of like the hunting dog that befriends the bunny rather than running it down.

I was spending way more money than I was making in c + i, and I was really not willing to converse with the demographic (what I would describe as suburb-bound stay-at-home moms with disposable income...not me at all). I don't see the merit in spending time and money (because a lot of these places they'll host a part are accessible only by car) trying to be someone I'm not. There was also an TON of overly-positive talk within the merchandiser groups. Too many exclamations points, too many empty "you can do its." Just too much. So, I stopped the hustle. Phew. Now, I know I'm really not a good salesperson. :)

Knowing what you're not good at (and that you won't be good at everything), is as important as fine tuning and celebrating what you are good at. What does that mean to you?

When You Find the Perfect Picture to Express How You Feel

It's like magic.

Marathon Training Week One

Sunday, June 7

My style usually consists of black this, black that, and some polka dots. But when I'm running, I'm like tropical bird, bitch.

Today was spent running 6 miles from our apartment to roughly SE Glastone and SE 25th in Portland. It was a HOT day, almost 90. I did the right thing and followed my husband (who is adorably milky-white and freckly) in slathering myself head to two (even under the mesh panels of my top) with 55 SPF sunscreen. Not only did I get a nice little toast, but I sweated my ass off and it felt amazing.

My biggest takeaway from this run was seeing my husband, who also is training with me, enjoy his run so much. He hasn't been running lately and was worried about jumping right into a relatively big 6 miles. As he declared mile 5, he seemed giddy and proud. Those feelings radiated straight onto me and I felt so happy for him.

Tuesday, June 9

Today my morning run took place at one of my favorite places in the world - the beach. During a short last-minute trip to Seaside, OR, I took the opportunity to run 3 miles on their oceanfront Promenade as friendly fellow runners and strollers all said "hello."

Above is the sea grasses making up part of the expansive shore with the northern side of Tillamook Head in the foggy distance. Sign, the fresh sea air!

Wednesday, June 10

Another day on the beach! Oh! Life is hard! But not today. Half of my 3 miles were done again on the Promenade, but then I just had to get on the sand. This beach's broad span and the low tide made it easy to run on firm sand. While it doesn't offer a lot to beachcombers, there's still a lot of lovely sights.

Thursday, June 11

Back in Portland, I did my 3 miles on a typical route that I usually take, which leads me to the closest public fountain I know of to me, at SE 60th and Division. I love these things!

Week one down.

Why therunway+ Is the Best New Site You Should Know About

 I've talked about my recent realization that, "Hey, I'm making all of my income on writing," and I'm excited to talk about my latest gig! Check out my first post with therunway+!

The therunway+ sells designer plus-size fashions from a range of retailers (Target to Kate Spade) alongside helpful content that today's woman wants to know about.

I'm excited about this opportunity with because  therunway+ is the kind of work that would stand out on the resume of a woman content writer today. It's it's relevant, on the pulse, and empowering.

You'll probably notice the clever language in therunway+ drop down menu. Let me put on my copywriter glasses and wax poetic on it (Just so we're clear, I had nothing to do with the development of the static site copy).

I love that they dubbed the blog "Front Row." You"ll notice regs photographed while sitting at the front row of couture shows - untouchables like Anna Wintour, "Kimye," a budding actress who made friends with a designer. Well, everyone ought to be invited to the front row!

Which leads to their motto, best summed up in the hashtag #FashionForAll. I encourage you to check out their philosophy. And, when you do, you'll see why this is a site you'll want to add to your daily feed.

So, I'm Running a Marathon

 

After my last race, the Healdsburg Half Marathon in wine county (wine.country.), I still thought I'd never do a full marathon. Then I moved, changed my schedule and lifestyle to a degree that made running regularly difficult. I took a month off to heal up, but lost some of my physical strength, and constantly felt blah. And, I got depressed. 

 

It took me a bit to realize it, but part of why I was down was because I wasn't running! One afternoon I decided to just go for a half hour at a slow pace just to get some blood flowing. I ended up running my first mile in only about 10 minutes, and I came back with a clear head and lots of creative ideas for a story I've been writing for months. In short, I felt good again. 

 

Everything about my experience running - the zen-like focus, building up of physical and mental strength run after run, the joy of being alone and doing basically nothing and everything - came back to me. I needed a race to work up to. When I discovered in April that the Portland marathon was in October, I realized it was a sign of something. 

So, I signed up. I hand wrote calendars of training schedules. And, I felt really good again. 

Tomorrow is my first official marathon-training run. It's only six miles (which is easy to moderate for me), but I'm thrilled that it's a part of yet another running journey for me. A freaking marathon? 

In May I eased into my training with light runs, lots of yoga, and resistance training. This picture above is from my last run and it was taken from the top of the highest steps at Mount Tabor in Portland, about two miles from my apartment. Since I don't have access to an elliptical, I'm trying to build up my legs and butt with stairs like the ones at Mount Tabor. It's hard, but the view is all worth it. 

I want to try to share a picture for each week of training and hopefully share it here! Maybe I'll have something insightful, maybe not. But, here we go.