Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Thanks Shontae

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
Your name:
Weapon of Choice:A broomstick
Your Favorite Target:Nymphomaniacs
Your Kill Count:657,729,470
Your Battle Cry:"Mutha fuckaaaaaaas!"
Years You Spend in Jail:42
How Much Money In Damages You Cause:$86,738,099,497,433
Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 72%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

The story about the end of the world and more--

we all know
there's no hell and no hiroshima
chernobyl was a cover up
the world is really all in love
 
Ah, how true. But you know, there are no such things as parallel universes. Stephen Hawking said so. Once upon a time he claimed there were such things in weird science as parallel worlds, (note I said science and not imagination). So, after almost 30 years of perfecting his whole idea about black holes and such, Hawking was like, uhh, nah, it's not really what I said.
 
Hey man, I donated $1 to the Lou Gehrig's disease foundation thinking of you Mr. Hawking, now you've burst my black hole bubble. What a great time to live in when the possiblity of parallel universes could be proven by a really, really, really smart guy with his graphing calculator. Even them being only a scientific theory-halfway between science fiction and fact-is most interesting. It's like when you first start to fall in love with someone and you're all hearts and stars, in between simply flirting and mundane fucking. 
 
The Possibility of black holes was between simply flirting and mundane fucking.
 
Now everything is just blaa. No flirting, no fucking, no sci fi, and no interesting facts but that Hawking said this:
 
from the July 22 Boston Globe,
 
"I am sorry to disapoint science fiction fans, but if you jump into a black hole, your mass evergy will be returned to our universe, but in mangled form. There is no baby universe branching off, as I once thought."
 
So, Donnie Darko is all fake? Shit.
What about the shelves of books at the library about black holes? How disapointing indeed. Way to sell out man, way to sell out.
 
And you know what, most of all, I am taking this too seriously. Ha. Really though, for someone who sits and looks for information on websites about such things, not to mention time travel and wormholes, and who took notes while reading The Universe in a Nutshell last summer, you bet this is an issue for me. Who the hell is John Kerry? What? Some guy won over a million dollars on Jeopardy? A murder/suicide in Edgewood?
 
Perhaps an extra-terrestrial from the planet Vulcan, names Darth Vader, promised to melt his brain if Hawking delved anymore into the black hole--
 
At least another physicist, Andrew Strominger of Harvard says that he doesn't think the issue is closed. Phew. There is more to learn! The world is not going to end...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
yet!  
 
 
   

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

An After Thought, by Angela Bayout...

I realize, I you need the key.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(think about that, really, you need the key. The key. You know, the key)
 
 
 
 
(But, sir, we lost the key in the fire. You know, The Fire.)
 
 
 
 
 
 
(Oh, man, The Fire. How long ago The Fire was. That was before the war. You know, The War.)
 
 
 
 
 
(What a horrible war. It was tough times then. That's when the flood happened too. You know, The Flood.)
 
 
 
(We lost our favorite wicker rocking chair in that Flood.)
 
(No, that was The Fire. We lost our favorite wicker rocking chair in the Fire.)
 
 
 
 
(No, The Flood.)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(No! It was the Fire. Remember, we used to have it out on the front porch, until it got burnt, and we had nothing on the front porch. We used to sit out there all the time and feel bad when we couldn't anymore. Then, The War started, and Daddy had to go away, you know The War.)
 
 
(Ah, yes, and then Mama didn't want to sit out on the porch anymore anyway because then she felt the man would come with the news that Daddy was dead. You know, The Man.)
 
(And then he did come with news.)
 
(That Daddy was okay, he just lost an arm. You know, An Arm.)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(Yep, Daddy, he lost his arm in The War.)

The Best of This Summer

Wow, this summer was really cool! Anyway, I thought I ought to stop and reflect before I forget, because I am a dork and have always done things like that. I am always one to reminisce. So, this being the first summer away from home, it is necessary to log each and every wonderful moment down to the most minute detail.

The first thing that comes to mind is when Dana and I went to Scotland and saw the Loch Ness monster. That was great.

Then I went to Paris.

Then, we moved into the Atlizzle homestead where we lived off of Fantasy Fudge and french onion dip, from Paris.

There was the time Dana and I went to the museum through the back door, and I realized after about a half hour there that the museum is closed on Mondays, and that explained why parts of it were so dark.

I still haven't returned that movie to the White Hen after a week, that was pretty great.

Working at the library is actually pretty great too. I like to read.

I went to the dentist and had no cavities, that was pretty great.

Well, as you can see, the summer was pretty great. I was all gung ho about logging all the good things that happened-for real- but i lost the interest. Some of this stuff really did happen. Can you circle what happened and put an X on what didn't?

I will retire later to my diary, the one with the pink bows and the lock, and jot down everything with a purple sparkly gel pen. If you really want to know the truth, go to 244 Atwood, apt. #3 and look under my pillow case, there will be Dana's Erotica collection, the KY warming liquid, my pjs, and my diary.

Have a great day!  



Monday, July 26, 2004

I am Always right-o

Last entry I said that I felt that things were going to pick up, that things were going to start happening. I do believe I was meaning that great things were going to happen, and they are, but not all neccessarily. What prompted me to write this here is that I was talking to Ringa today and I said to her, validly, that I was right, my intuition is always right on.
 
Basically, I just had a very nice weekend, nothing extravagant, just a good weekend. All I was, was happy. I woke up Sunday morning to the radio playing "Because the Night" by Patti Smith, which is a very hot song. All weekend was very well for me.  
 
Sunday, Dana came across these vanilla flavored cigarettes, and even though I care not to smoke too much, they are damn good. I smoked 8 of them between yesterday and today, and don't feel a thing from them. They really are smooth and creamy, like the box says. Heh. Well, I was sitting at my window today watching the rain and I felt very happy, all at ease, just sitting there in my pj's smoking tasty cigarettes and thinking. I felt this happy about this time last year, maybe a little later, when Natalie and I sat outside the library talking, and I felt very content, and happy. 
 
Dana and I just got back from a bus ride to Monroeville to indulge at Evergreen Chinese Buffet. The pouring rain was worth the trip. 
 
Ealier today, Ringa did call with unhappy news. I wasn't very affected by it, but I was sad to hear Ringa sound sad. A professor at our college died over the weekend. She was both Ringa's and Dana's advisor, and Ringa worked with her on her tutorial. I can imagine how it must be to lose someone like that, who you were intellectual in touch with. Especially, for Ringa, this is to be her senior year when she must put together portfolios and projects, and she has to do it with someone she hasn't worked with for the passed 3 years. She was very sad. 
 
Speaking of Ringa, she's had Hepatitus A for the last month. She will be fine, getting a lot better. Ringa has had a busy month. There have been a lot of changes for all of us, and it's all hitting us now. It's a big wave, and I knew it was coming. No suprise spoiled, I am actually very excited that I was right. Like, I sensed it or something. I have the 6th sense! I was telling Ringa, when I started 9th grade, I wrote a note to my friend Nicole telling her that 9th grade would be a big year for us. A lot of things did happen, normal 15 year old stuff, but that was also the year Columbine happened, and it was pretty traumatic for us. 
 
I was thinking a lot this weekend about where I am and how I ended up there. I looked around my room in my apartment and really thought about where I was. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself in my room when I was 15, in that gray tank top I always wore writing about, probably the same stuff I am now. That's how I really felt that I was where I was right then. I am here, 20, living in an small apartment in Oakland. Sometimes, don't realize anything I am doing, and suddenly something hits me and I realize that I am quite alive and I exist. 
 
So, here I am, here, and there, and doing stuff, like existing. So, yay.   

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

The "Pepsi" above bothers me.

Yum, Brains

 On the verge of things I always feel so anxious, but a good kind of exciting anxious. Perhaps it's just that I will have to move in a month, out of ol' Atlizzle and at Carblow. A change of space, something new but familiar too. But I do feel that something rather good will happen to me soon if not in a while, and I usually am right about things like that. I have a very accurate and strong intuition. (See, I was distracted by my co-worker who was silently sneaking up behind me, only to find a mildly- mildly suprised Angela.) 
 
I have ideas as to what my future holds, but like Doc Brown says, knowing too much about your future can lead to disaster. A time paradox! (Search my blog and you will find links to nerd sites that talk all about time physics.) So, I will erase all expectations and go in blindly so as to not be disapointed or unenthused. I think Edmund Husserl wrote about not having any previous knowledge about something, and only then can you truly have sympathy. I think I am getting that a little twisted, but that's the way I used it in a Theology paper I once did. There are a lot of philosophers that have similar ideas about expectations, it's probably one of the essential themes of philosophy. Being a real philosopher and a good philosopher, you ought to be as pure as possible. That is, not having any premature expectations, also not believing what others who have put themselves in power say. You really ought to trust yourself, if your honest enough with yourself to be trusted. So, listen to your intuition, your gut that is, or heart if you will, because it's probably right. Don't listen so much to your crotch so much, (I don't know a better word in this case to use than "crotch.") You can't listen to your brain, because that's what's doing the listening to your gut, so if your being cerebral and logical, you're probably not listening, which in some cases may be right. And, in some cases, listen to your "crotch," otherwise you may miss out on something. The thing is you have to know when to listen or not and to what. But, I guess there's no way to know, except that it's intuitive, so really what I am saying is, your instincts should or do always rule. But it's that logical brain that is allowed to rule in certain circumstances. See, I have been reading! I never understood the Empiricists until now- around 6:30 pm while working at the library. 
 
Since I have been keeping fish, I think about people like I would fish. I sit somewhere, like here at work or at a restaurant or store, and imagine I am really watching fish in an aquarium. They're like different species of barbs- I have tiger barbs in my tank, but there are also cherry barbs, rosy barbs, all kinds of colors, shapes, aggressivness, activity, etc. There are white people with dark hair, light hair, big, little, there are asian people-Korean, Arab, ect. All have different food "requirements"- the otos and plecos only eat algea-are vegetarian just like a Hindu or a Buddists, or a vapid PETA minion. Just imagine a giant Something keeping us in a "tank" and watching us, -oh how cute, the kids are playing hide and seek-just like the tiger barbs play hide and seek among the rocks and ornaments in my tank. I think, all these fish do is swim around, play so to speak, and eat. I really can't think that they do anythink else. Maybe my betta seems to have a familiar affection for me, that is, when he "sees" me looking at him, he thinks I will give him food. We have staring contests, me and the betta, and he probably gets bored when no food comes. But then I have staring contests with my cat, and he gets bored and starts to meow and rub up against my leg for food. But, my cat also looks out the window like he's watching TV, and I think somehow he is really thinking about stuff. My dog too, he has a very strong personality like my cat, and I think that while he is laying in the grass looking out into the yard with his eyes half closed and his breathing very steady and relaxed, he is thinking wonderful things, even if its about chasing bunnies or chocolate. (Dogs aren't supposed to eat chocolate by the way.) But fish, I really can't see them thinking much at all. Of course we know that fish are not as developed as dogs and cats though. But, just like I can lay in the grass and think of chocolate, I am still more developed than my hippie dog Bailey. (I just said something very obvious.) What makes me and [most] humans more developed, common sense, logic, or rationality. 
 
Then there's free will, which I think can be connected to common sense, well yeah, because if your brains do not have to listen to your guts, then your guts can tell you what is supposed to be one thing, but your brain activly choses not to do as your gut. So, if a goose had a free will or common sense, he would have the ability to not migrate in at the start of spring. He can stay in Florida or where ever if he wanted to if he had the ability to choose. But, too bad, he doesn't. 
 
So there, I just went over basic philosophy while I work. Have a good day and be excellent to each other.                         

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Chicken Chow Mein and Chop Suey

I have to admit, that if I could, right at this moment I would fly to Florida, go to Disney fucking World, and get myself a Mousekateer Bar. They were so good. The white vanilla icecream was so creamy and the chocolate was so sugary and sweet, it melted in your mouth. 
Meanwhile, I am going to get fish tomorrow! yay! wooooo! fish! they swim! in water
 
Evidently I can now do color text. 
 
I did not know this until now.  

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Oh dear GOD--

This may be the most boring day at work ever. Ever! And suddenly the settings are different on my blog, there was never any color before. How exciting. I thought I would dress sort of nice today, wear a skirt, look like a real ladyHow nice. I walked down the street with my umbrella and bag, feeling real sophisticated. have on lipstick even. OOOOO. Ever! 

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Andrew and Shontae

I bet Andrew is chilling out in his little jelly jar. Maybe he's playing DragonTails! I hope he starts to look better soon. Perhaps Buddha will give him the strength. I'll say "Andrew, rub his belly for luck."
...and way to go SHONTAE.
You called us, yeah, okay. But, next time, make sure your cell phone doesn't suck. That's why I use a good old pre-rotary type phone, you know what I mean? Those ones where you pick up the reciever and the mouth piece is like, on the the phone, like, in the 1920s. Yeah, I have one of those.

Monday, July 12, 2004

SHONTAE

Hi Shontae! how the fuck are ya? I was so glad to get your message. That was really cool. I didn't know you could post comments either. Awesome. Woo. Oh yeah. Rock 'n' Roll. Cleve-land is a drag I bet, but it is the place where mid-90s musical artists Bone Thugz and Harmony hail from, so it can't be that bad. Yes, call us. I will post our phone number, which is a really dumb thing to do on the internet, but no one but you and me read this anyway. Talk to you soon. Call me *wink wink* 412 687 0372...

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Sunday, July 04, 2004

My So Called Life...ANGELA-

Ahh, fuck me. The night is full of Angelas.
I came across "My So Called Life" reruns on the bounded satellite @ casa de bayout. Dear old "Angela" with her red hair and high school drama. I watched the episode when "Angela" admitted to Jordan Catalano that she was not ready to have sex with him. When I look back at those days when I was 13 watching this show for the first time, I think they all had to do with "Angela" freaking out about not being ready to have sex with Jordan Catalano yet. Still, God, it made me feel all fuzzy and nestalgic inside for about 4 minutes. Probably about as long as Jordan Catalano would have lasted anyhow, what the hell was she so worried about? Perhaps, it was that very fact?
And then there was a Greyhound commercial...
Girl-African American-curly hair-headphones on-perhaps soulful alto sweet lovin?-Greyhound assumes this is their demographic. Oh, but anyway, an invisible, giant hand scralled her name, "Angela" across the bus window like John Madden at the Halftime show. It was really dumb.
I have come across these "Angelas" 2 times. 2, Twice my dear. Only one more time, a third time, will break the spell-