Good Art = Quality Over Quantity

This here is my term paper for my Critical Writing class. I feel pretty good about it, so here it is. I hang it on the fridge before the grade comes. I expect to get an A on it...
Note that this is pre-edit.


According to Plato, art is a representation that is two steps removed from reality. An artist uses her skill to manipulate words and materials to create a desired image. A viewer must remember that the art is an illusion produced from the own mind of the artist, and not a true depiction of reality (Stumpf and Fieser 52). Further more, art is to be experienced. It is a sensual, visceral experience that can shape the way a viewer may interpret an aspect of humanity. By examining my own and Plato’s ideas on aesthetics, I will discuss how I apply these aesthetics to film. Also, I will explain how artistic quality is often sacrificed for financial success in movies today, in light of my aesthetic criteria. We will see that establishing one’s own artistic theories allows a viewer to fully experience a film as a work of art.

There are some films that may be considered standards from which other films are representations of. Citizen Cane and Casablanca are considered by some to be two of the best American films ever made. These can be considered, in Plato’s terms, as being ultimate Forms from which other films copy the techniques, styles, and format. Every so often, viewers are lucky enough to experience something new, such as an innovative technology that allows for more possibility or creative idea. Because new ideas are becoming almost continually, the general concepts of ultimate Form are always in flux, too. Today, it may be difficult for a young viewer to understand the quality of 1942’s Casablanca because of the evolution in acting, writing, and filming styles. Because our realities have changed drastically since 1942, our understanding of representations of realities is different as well. Still, there must be some sort of example that these classic films have set. Filmmakers may or may not look to these films as an example. Just like a modern free verse poet must know traditional forms in order to break them, a good filmmaker must understand the traditions and standards of film in order to break them and be able to create their own.

While the filmmaker may understand universal standards, the viewer must understand her own. It may help for a reviewer of film to know why Casablanca may be considered an ultimate example of film. However, in forming one’s own aesthetic a viewer must keep in mind her own Form of Beauty. Each individual should find their own preferences and beliefs on what makes a good film. Plato reminds us that when a viewer does not separate representation from reality, then the viewer is acknowledging an illusion of reality and not art. One must see a film as art and question what characteristics it has that makes it art. Also, one must keep in mind that what a filmmakers considers good art may not agree with the viewer. My personal aesthetic is based on what I find to be original and truly beautiful. I keep in mind Plato’s theory of art and ultimate Forms as a basis for producing my own argument on art. More importantly, I keep in mind what stimulates me personally when viewing a film.

Quality over quantity is a virtue that not many current American films follow. It seems that the more a movie cost to make, the more attention it gets. Films that attract little public attention tend to be the ones that had little money to work with. When a smart and talented filmmaker has little resource, she will use the cheapest and most abundant resource an artist has, her creativity. This tool is responsible for unique and interesting results in any artistic media. Just as Einstein quoted, “Imagination is more important than knowledge,” a cheaply produced film states that “Imagination is more important than Hollywood businessmen hitting the jackpot at the box office.” I often leave a movie theater feeling that I would have rather wasted my eight dollars on a fast-food dinners for the rest of the week. It seems that most movies that come out today that have a large advertising budget have three of the following characteristics: confusing gratuitous sex and lust with sincere love, conventionally attractive and grotesquely thin actresses, and predictable plots involving prototypical and monochrome characters written with mediocre talent. There are other characteristics involving the blandness of a film’s score, cinematography, and actors’ abilities. All of these are problems that can be solved by committing to making a piece of art rather than a product to sell and make sickening amounts of money off of. Filmmakers who do such things are mocking the idea of Beauty, to which art is meant to represent. They are concerned with the quantity their product consumes rather than the quality that it gives to viewers.

Fortunately there are filmmakers who are apart from the business of Hollywood. Their films are original, creative, and thoughtfully pieced together to please or contest a viewer’s desire for beauty, whatever her definition of beauty is. A few examples artistically motivated filmmakers include, Darren Aronofsky who directed Requiem for a Dream and Pi, the writer and director of Donnie Darko known as Richard Kelly, and writer / director / producer Wes Anderson who is known for Bottle Rocket and The Royal Tenenbaums. All three of these men have fashioned unique and evocative films that represent a form of Beauty, one that has heart and, simply said, one that really wants to make something great. Money clearly was and was not an issue in making these films. Requiem and Pi together had a budget under five million dollars and received much critical acclaim (by 1997) while the most recent film adaptation of Godzilla in 1998 cost almost $125 million to make and received negative critical acclaim. Donnie Darko, a confusing yet entertaining time travel-teen hero film set in the late 1980s, cost under five million to make, and still had to work on charity to produce some of the flawless special effects. Since its limited release in 2001, it has been gaining a cult following. While The Royal Tenenbaums cost about $28 million to make, the heart and creative quality of this film overshadows its contemporaries (budget data from Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia). In 2001, the year of its release date, Tenenbaums did not make it into the top twenty highest grossing films in the year (“Business Data for The Royal Tenenbaums 2001”). It did, however receive critical acclaim like the other films mentioned. Anderson, Aronofsky, and Kelly are fine examples of quality filmmaking today.

When I see a film I want to be impressed by original and skillfully crafted imagery, plot, and characters. I expect to be interested in the story and characters, no matter how detestable or unattractive they may be. If I find myself still thinking about the film hours later, and even talking about it days later, then I feel that it has successfully affected my emotions and my questioning of Beauty. In this case, the film is a true piece of art in that it has manipulated human interactions and tendencies into a story that clearly comprehends the mysteries of human interactions and tendencies. Sometimes it is more appropriate to watch a slapstick comedy for the sake of laughing one’s ass off, and if its intention is to make one laugh then it is successful if the experience lingers and has probed one’s standards of comedy. A quality film is to be an experience for the viewer and not a passive, unconscious accident. Also, the filmmaker’s intention must be to produce a creative work of art. This is apparent when the piece stands out from others, when it stands apart from prototypes, predictability, and oversimplification of human emotion. While Plato states that art is two steps away from reality, the farther away from reality a film is lessens its artistic quality, thus taking it farther away from the ultimate form of Beauty. The close a piece of art is to Beauty, Plato states, the more perfect it is (Stumpf and Fieser 52-3).

Being partial to Wes Anderson movies, I tend to use them as standards that other films should meet. It is an example of what fits into my own aesthetic of beauty involving quality cinematic storytelling. Tenenbaums is a dark comedy or a “dramedy,” but this does not keep it from being compared to other genres of film. This film clearly probes the human condition by objectively presenting various human relationships from father-daughter to sweetheart-sweetheart. It is a story that does not clearly solve problems around melancholy and disillusionment, but it does present it beautifully through the perfection of art. All of Anderson’s movies are charming and full of heart and meaning. They meet my criteria for quality film that is evocative and interesting and where the filmmaker’s passion is evident in every aspect of the film.

It is difficult to find a film today that meets this criterion. However quality films must be few and far between in order to be appreciated for art. Plato’s theories of Beauty and art apply to film in that, to be considered a respectable art, it may be judged up against ultimate Forms or examples. Understanding these ideas can help a viewer establish stronger opinions and personal ideas of what can be a standard in Beauty and art, but especially what stimulates her sensations and emotions. This way, art can be more of an experience.

Mad scientists: they may not be science right, but they have all the fun.

My mom

Date: Wed, 5 Oct 2005 13:33:06 -0400
From: Ann Bayout
To: Angela
Subject: Halloween

Hi Angela, the Halloween story was nice. I had no idea thatyou got teased about things. I enjoyed doing them like Mammy and my brothersand sister did. Can you remember all the outfits? I tried to. Do youremember this from last year?--- What happened to the ghost when he got tooclose to the bonfire? He burnt his halloweenie. Ha Ha, Love mommy



^^^ My favorite email of the moment.

Brains are gray, as a matter of fact

I wish that I had a cat in my dorm room that when I was gone all day, and my roommate was gone all day, would pad around and eat bugs, jump on my computer and type kitty nonsense, and play with the fuzz balls from my slippers. Imaginary kitty would curl up in a gray ball matching the gray yarn by my bed and sleep all day looking peaceful and cozy with the little slits of his tightly closed eyes.

HEY, it's October the first.

We meet our density

Shontae and Angela with Crispin Glover

Dear Jacket

It's that time of year again. I know that it's soon, but the premature cool weather has given me reason to layer. However, I am not in your arms. You are at home, on my chair, in the barren bedroom. Jacket, I have been cheating on you again. First it was Blazer, now it has become Jean. While Jean Jacket is hip and fitted nicely, you, Jacket (original Jacket), are still my number one at heart. I've worn you in the snow when it was thermally inappropriate, I've worn you in May just for fun, I've worn you while dancing to Billy Idol songs. You're always at the greatest of events and appearing in the greatest of memories. Do not fret! Just know that the first days of fall when we can smell leaves and pumpkins in the air, I will be with you.

Love,
Angela

Shontae and I go to jail.

Shontae's mug shot

My mug shot

You're Lili St. Cyr!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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lunch, today

Seriously, I appriciate when people I don't know well come to a restaurant with Burmese food and Malaysian food and don't act freaked out by the exotic variety and the unpronouncable names and the all the lemongrass and coconut rice, seriously, is it weird that I care so much about the fact that he seemed so nonchalant about getting a special sort of soup I will probably never see again unless I went to Burma or Malaysia and didn't cross his eyes and didn't ask the waiter ignorant questions and didn't even act pretentious at the onset of tofu and more lemongrass and his spicy chai, seriously, there was not a word from the table of the chopsticks and deeply ethnic food under the ceiling fans and early 20th century ceilings hanging high like the smoke from the kitchen as the new cook lost his way.


(yeah, and I seriously skipped work again today and went to eat with some friends.)

Ripped from the clutches of Shontae

New model 'permits time travel'
By Julianna Kettlewell, BBC News science reporter

If you went back in time and met your teenage parents, you could not split them up and prevent your birth - even if you wanted to, a new quantum model has stated.

Researchers speculate that time travel can occur within a kind of feedback loop where backwards movement is possible, but only in a way that is "complementary" to the present. In other words, you can pop back in time and have a look around, but you cannot do anything that will alter the present you left behind. The new model, which uses the laws of quantum mechanics, gets rid of the famous paradox surrounding time travel.

Paradox explained
Although the laws of physics seem to permit temporal gymnastics, the concept is laden with uncomfortable contradictions. The main headache stems from the idea that if you went back in time you could, theoretically, do something to change the present; and that possibility messes up the whole theory of time travel. Clearly, the present never is changed by mischievous time-travellers: people don't suddenly fade into the ether because a rerun of events has prevented their births - that much is obvious. So either time travel is not possible, or something is actually acting to prevent any backward movement from changing the present.

For most of us, the former option might seem most likely, but Einstein's general theory of relativity leads some physicists to suspect the latter. According to Einstein, space-time can curve back on itself, theoretically allowing travellers to double back and meet younger versions of themselves.

And now a team of physicists from the US and Austria says this situation can only be the case if there are physical constraints acting to protect the present from changes in the past. Weird laws The researchers say these constraints exist because of the weird laws of quantum mechanics even though, traditionally, they don't account for a backwards movement in time.

Quantum behaviour is governed by probabilities. Before something has actually been observed, there are a number of possibilities regarding its state. But once its state has been measured those possibilities shrink to one - uncertainty is eliminated. So, if you know the present, you cannot change it.

If, for example, you know your father is alive today, the laws of the quantum universe state that there is no possibility of him being killed in the past. It is as if, in some strange way, the present takes account of all the possible routes back into the past and, because your father is certainly alive, none of the routes back can possibly lead to his death.

"Quantum mechanics distinguishes between something that might happen and something that did happen," Professor Dan Greenberger, of the City University of New York, US, told the BBC News website.

"If we don't know your father is alive right now - if there is only a 90% chance that he is alive right now, then there is a chance that you can go back and kill him. But if you know he is alive, there is no chance you can kill him."

In other words, even if you take a trip back in time with the specific intention of killing your father, so long as you know he is happily sitting in his chair when you leave him in the present, you can be sure that something will prevent you from murdering him in the past. It is as if it has already happened.

"You go back to kill your father, but you'd arrive after he'd left the room, you wouldn't find him, or you'd change your mind," said Professor Greenberger.

"You wouldn't be able to kill him because the very fact that he is alive today is going to conspire against you so that you'll never end up taking that path leads you to killing him." Greenberger and colleague Karl Svozil introduce their quantum mechanical model of time travel on the ArXiv e-print service.

Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/science/nature/4097258.stm Published: 2005/06/17 10:03:47 GMT © BBC MMV

and she never says goodbye when she leaves

Indigo ran off with lavender
to be more like her
feminine self tasting
petunias and cantelope
without having to share
sagging brooding blue's
iced bathwater chai

I can never seem to find
why she let herself all gloom
though rinds can be intimidating
and polen makes her sneeze
and her eyes itch and burn
orange when she sleeps

Never did she dream in
green after choking
on cloves cracking
like the fire in her
anxiety since
the age of periwinkle

Delicately her master
sharpens the yellow from
the back end but never
the ones she stood next
to in class photos

I've Gone Ornery
she scribbles on the cover
of a plucked flower
exhales a cleansing
breath and wonders aloud,

But what is petunia?

Overnight, graciously
I deliberatly
needed Indigo

but she's never there in the morning.

In memory of Andrew because I miss that fish!

As Shontae and I are talking fishy, I must pause and remember my favorite fish of all time, Andrew. For those of you who have been faithful fans of my blogity blog, you may remember when my betta fish died (because I am stupid and left the window open for him to freeze like a fishstick). I was very sad and felt very guilty, and I even took the effort to make a coffin and grave for him. Now Andrew resides in a purple Kleenex box, decorated appropriatly with lilies, inside of his cuppy (where he liked to take Time Out or naps) behind the Grotto at my school. So, St. Bernadette and Mother Mary watch over his plot while I take classes next door in Aquinas.

I am sure that Andrew is somewhere now with his girlfriend the headless mermaid in the ocean of the Galapagos Islands, hanging out with ignuanas and flaring at purple jelly fish.

Whoever thought one could miss a fish, however, he was a good one and had a lot of personality. I'm debating whether I would want another one or not because it may not be the same, or it would be the same and I would feel guilty replacing Andrew.

Or, I could get real and eat fish sticks.

Do you have a problem with my garlic pizza?

and there were pockets all along

I got this skirt at the Gap for 12 bucks, and I always thought that pockets on it were fake, until last night at Gooski's with Crystal, and I was a little drunk, when I found these little pockets are actually pockets. They'd been sewn up all this time, and I just realized all I had to do was push on through and Bam I had pockets.

(SEAN)

When I don't care that gross food is gross I make myself believe that it will make me strong, like superhero stronger. Such as the various treats I pick up on my Saturday morning break from work. The sausage biscuits from 7-11, the 49 cent cheeseburgers from McDonald's. They're not real food, so they must have such a high amount of preservatives and radioactive fillers that someday I will just start glowing bright green and be able to shoot lightening bolts at moving cars.

This is what makes time travel possible

I wear a size Medium or Small.

My favorite email of the moment

Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 09:42:40 -0400
From: Molly F Prosser
To: Angela Bayout
Subject: RE: Tropico?


ps. Yams rule.

PART 2. (see below-)

The "(1)" are meant to be superscripts.

The Electric Birds

The creamy slips of
the Sunday ads
spilling from the dollar
Gazette remind me
of Bisquick pancakes
and raw alkaline
cores
of peaches forced
passed the tongue
like cold cough
syrup spoons.

Wires grid air
into new Enumeration
Districts, electric
birds
trapeze singers
welcome me home(1)

-where in the closet behind the stale wool coat is still that plastic bag stretched out like a faded tank top. Tentacles spill from the hems of scrap plaid cotton the same starch texture as the first time I wore a strapless dress in the mirror behind the door and then in the reflection of his red hatchback that could have been stolen from a funhouse, and he liked that dress so much it ripped under his snarky foaming smirk I misunderstood for a smile.

(1)The first summer I
lived alone in the
city I wore nothing
but old tank tops
and underpants on
the hottest weekends
of July while the oven
heated for Bisquick
biscuits I kneaded
with my own
agile fingers made
for pens. Peaches
were a commodity
then that I didn’t
have to swallow
with the charcoal
biscuits and tablespoons
of dollar
marmalade
while watching cars
parallel park
from the sitting sill
of my bedroom window.

I’d listen to the electric
birds on wires strung
parallel from each
other, cutting the air
in shallow slits
and the birds take
steep plunges, spilling
into the street
below.

Help Angela get something done this summer, Part 1

The following posts, assuming I do not slack off, will be poems that I think are good, but, hell, they may be trash, this is embarassing to show my little kids off to the world, or at least to people outside my writer friends, but in honor of sucking it up, have a look and feel free to say whatever you like, (Shontae).
Also, blogger is a nerf herder, so the complete formatting will not be as I like, I cannot do tabs or spacing really, so focus on the meaning, just like some people don't do when they think about life. But, maybe there is no meaning to life.


possible submission #1

"body was found by a moose hunter"

-and how dissonant it would be for her to die in a snow patch like bad cabbage and escorted by the Northern angels with their purple and turquoise ribbons. Helium penetration.

She had said,
-There was an antebellum incident when telegraphs spontaneously combusted all over the world and pregnant girls in Rome with sundresses as skin saw the Aurora Borealis but I won't ever see the lights in Alaska until the moose hunter checkmates my long gone soul with his smoking rifle while the moose and I spy from the solar storms in the sky.

My dreams are coming true...

September 3 @ 8:00pm September 4 @ 8:00pm
- SPECIAL EVENT -
An Evening with Crispin Hellion Glover featuring"WHAT IS IT?" (2005) and "THE BIG SLIDE SHOW" -Tickets $15.00 - NOW AVAILABLE!

WINNER - BEST NARRATIVE FILM - 2005 Ann Arbor Film Festival. Having already premiered at several renowned international film festivals (including Sundance, Ann Arbor, and the New York Underground), Crispin Hellion Glover's independently produced feature "WHAT IS IT?" along with "THE BIG SLIDE SHOW" rides a wave of audience intrigue and critical acclaim to this Pennsylvania Premiere at The Oaks Theater, presented in collaboration with The Andy Warhol Museum (http://www.warhol.org). A multi talented visionary actor, writer, director, and performance artist, Glover’s feature film credits include “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” (2003), “Willard” (2003), “Bartleby” (2001), “Charlie’s Angels” (2000), “Nurse Betty” (2000), “The People Vs. Larry Flynt” (1996), “Dead Man” (1995), “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape” (1993), “The Doors” (1991), “Wild At Heart” (1990), “River’s Edge” (1986), and “Back to the Future” (1985).

"THE BIG SLIDE SHOW" is a unique performance presentation wherein Glover dramatically narrates, performs, and projects slides from ten of his own books, including Rat Catching, Oak Mot, and What It Is And How It Is Done. Glover describes his ten-years-in-the-making feature film directorial debut, "WHAT IS IT?," as "the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are snails, salt, a pipe, and how to get home, as tormented by an hubristic racist inner psyche." The first piece in a trilogy that, among other things, challenges common notions of common culture, "WHAT IS IT?" features a cast of predominately Down Syndrome actors, while stirring themes and images (horrific , comic, dramatic) that defy easy summarization and evoke a range of varied and conflicting responses in the viewer.

The complete program, including both "THE BIG SLIDE SHOW" and "WHAT IS IT?" will be followed by an open question-and-answer session with Crispin Hellion Glover each night. Select books and CD will also be available for purchase and signing both evenings.PLEASE NOTE THAT ADMISSION IS RESTRICTED TO PERSONS 18 AND OLDER.Tickets ($15.00) for this special event are NOW AVAILABLE for purchase in person at The Oaks Theater box office.

Ointment

1. We were in the know before the know became known.
2. We are cooler than water.
1. Auto response from lasanges: Soap oh I know I know.
2. If we were any cooler we'd be shivering.

3. when there is no Stella
3. did you guys leave before us?
3. he's your Mr. Tambourine Man

45and6.






and I like how she walks while eating a sausage biscuit, without a purse, and might as well be barefoot-she mentally waves to the hot dog man in the drivethru window that sits on the sidewalk he sits past the dusty screen not intending to grill anything really just wishing he could have a cigarette and it makes me laugh, too, that she could have stopped at the corner to finish biscuits and have a smoke herself, but that would have been in bad taste afterall.

alloverthe hardwoodfloor

to iron cuffs on the floor and the chargers there too but not the telephone that's been forgotten just like a radio. floss is calling me these days

I want to be in a high school English class

I miss having English classes where we read novels at a slow pace and answer mindless questions about the things we read on a worksheet for homework. And then, Derek McBride can ask me for the answers because he never reads and then I can refuse to give him any answers unless he promises to stop scribbling dirty words on my papers and in my books, and even then I won't help him cheat on his homework. Then, at the end of the unit on American poetry or on 1984 I can work tirelessly on a project in which I make a collage concerning what we read or write a dramatization from a certain character's point of view and then present it to the class, to which Derek McBride will ask me stupid questions and Mrs. Rettger will tell him to shut up.
I miss high school English...

Giant Popsicle Melts, Floods New York Park

June 22, 2:26 PM (ET)

NEW YORK (AP) - An attempt to erect the world's largest Popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film - but much stickier.

The 25-foot-tall, 17 1/2-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.

Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.
Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats by setting a record for the world's largest Popsicle, but called off the stunt before it was pulled fully upright by a construction crane. Authorities said they were worried the thing would collapse in the 80-degree, first-day-of-summer heat.

"What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming," Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. "It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast."

Snapple official Lauren Radcliffe said the company was unlikely to make a second attempt to break the record, set by a 21-foot pop in Holland in 1997.

The giant pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren't sure why it didn't. It had been made in Edison, N.J., and hauled to New York by freezer truck in the morning.

Man dies after lightning strikes metal cross

Jun 23, 11:59 AM (ET)

LJUBLJANA (Reuters) - A man died after lightning struck a metal cross he was holding during a funeral in a village near Ljubljana, the Slovenian news agency STA reported Thursday.

It said the 62-year-old man died in hospital Wednesday evening, several hours after the incident in the village of Brezovica. Another person at the funeral was slightly injured.

Katie Holmes digs Scientology

Katie Holmes Converting to Scientology
Jun 13, 3:57 PM (ET)

LONDON (AP) - Katie Holmes says she's embracing Scientology, the religion of her boyfriend, Tom Cruise.

Holmes, in London to promote her new film, "Batman Begins," was asked if she is taking lessons in the Church of Scientology, a religion founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.

"Yes, I am, and I'm really excited about it," she said Monday.

The 26-year-old actress and Cruise went public with their romantic relationship in April. The former star of television's "Dawson's Creek" grew up with a poster of Cruise on her bedroom wall and has said she grew up wanting to marry him.

"We all keep dreaming, and luckily, dreams come true," Holmes said.

She dismissed critics who have accused the couple of staging a relationship for publicity of their new movies.

"It doesn't hurt me at all. There are a lot of people really, really happy for us. It's really exciting.
We are so happy. I don't really care about the critics," she said.

Asked about wedding plans, Holmes replied: "There's nothing official to report."
Cruise was in Tokyo Monday for the premiere of his new film, "War of the Worlds."

In an interview in the June 17 issue of Entertainment Weekly, the 42-year-old actor was asked if Holmes is curious about Scientology.

"Yeah, absolutely. She digs it," he tells the magazine.

In response to a question about whether he'd asked Holmes not to do "Factory Girl" - about Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol - because of the drug use in the movie, Cruise says: "I don't even know what 'Factory Girl' is."

He adds: "Listen, the thing you've got to know about Katie is that she's an incredibly bright and self-determined woman. She makes her own decisions."
Cruise was previously married to Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman, and dated Penelope Cruz for several years.

Holmes and actor Chris Klein recently called off their engagement, after dating for five years

Jack White on Ashlee Simpson; two of my favorite celebrities.

from a Canadian newspaper:

He [Jack White] admitted to getting a little guilty pleasure in seeing the self-destruction of today's disposable pop stars.

"All this reality television stuff is just so disgusting to me. I think one of the greatest things that's happened in the last few years is Ashlee Simpson on Saturday Night Live," White said, referring to her embarrassing moment when it appeared she was about to lip sync and ran offstage when something went wrong.

"I thought that was just a triumph for reality," White said.

Today is his birthday.

MJF in BTTF

The Crocodylians

Hey Lady, I'm going to eat you.

Alligators and crocodiles are some of my favorite animals! Here are some cool pictures and neat information about alligators, crocodiles, and the mysterious gharials...

From Animal Planet:

Q: On Alligators vs. Crocodiles

My name is Michael. I am 8 years old. What is the difference between crocodiles, alligators and crocodilians, beside where they live and the shape of their heads?Thank you in advance for answering my question.

A: Michael, all species of crocodiles, alligators, caimans and gharials are known collectively as "crocodilians" (or more correctly "crocodylians") because they share many basic features. However, scientists have placed crocodiles and alligators in different families (crocodile in Crocodylidae, and alligators in Alligatoridae) based on key differences between all alligators and all crocodiles. Caimans incidentally are also a type of alligator, and gharials are in a family of their own called Gavialidae.

What are these key differences? They are mainly based around features of the skeleton and body, and you've already mentioned one of these — the difference in the shape of their heads. Alligators and caimans have broad U-shaped snouts, whereas crocodiles have narrower V-shaped snouts. There is some variation (for example Mugger crocodiles have a very broad snout like an alligator, and some subspecies of caimans have an almost V-shaped snout). Alligators are recognizable because the upper jaw overlaps the lower jaw, and hence all the teeth of the lower jaw are hidden from view and fit into depressions in the upper jaw. With crocodiles the teeth interlock more evenly, and those in both the upper and lower jaws are clearly visible when the mouth is shut. The large fourth upper tooth in particular is easy to spot in a crocodile, but not an alligator.

Did you know that crocodiles have salt glands on their tongue? They're actually modified salivary glands, and their purpose is to secrete excess salt from the crocodiles' bodies. Alligators and caimans have the basic structures in their tongues as well, but they are nonfunctional. This means crocodiles are — as a rule — more tolerant of saline water than alligators and caimans. At one extreme, saltwater crocodiles can spend many days or weeks in salt water if necessary. Alligators and caimans are almost totally restricted to fresh water. I don't recommend you get close enough to a crocodile's or alligator's tongue to find out whether it has salt glands!
Another difference lies on their scales. Both crocodiles and alligators have sensory organs called ISOs (integumentary sense organs) covering their head and particularly their jaws. Look carefully at them and you'll notice a myriad of black spots, almost as though they need a good shave. These are the ISOs. They enable the crocodile or alligator to orient the head toward pressure changes in the water (e.g. a water splash at the surface). Interestingly, crocodiles have similar organs covering their entire body (one on nearly every scale of the belly, the flanks, the legs and even the tail), whereas they are absent from the body scales in alligators and caimans. If you look at crocodile leather, you can clearly see a small dimple on every scale, but not on alligator leather.

There are many differences between crocodiles and alligators, but these are probably the most important ones that affect not only our ability to tell them apart, but also their ecology and behavior.

More Expert Talk
Did you know that crocs cough up hairballs like cats?Listen to our audio interview with Dr. Adam Britton.

Pile of alligators, as seen from my front porch

peek-a-boo

Jumping crocodile

Some crocodiles can even do tricks, like your dog. I wonder if my alligator would learn how to shake paws.

A gharial.

I've never seen or heard of these puppies before today. It's the gharial, from the rivers of India. Their long, skinny snout allows them to catch fish and frogs while swimming, much like the long, skinny beak of birds like cranes, herons, and kingfishers.

Another gharial

Gromit

This is my pet gator, Gromit. He says thank you for reading about his friends, the crocodylians.

Damn

From the White Stripes' website:

6/2/05

"Karen Elson and Jack White were married yesterday on the confluence of three rivers - the Rio Negro, the Solimones, and the Amazon - in the Amazon basin city of Manaus, Brazil. They were married by a traditional Shaman priest on a canoe at the exact point where the three rivers meet. The bride and groom were accompanied by a small party of close friends. The best man was Ian Montone. Meg White was the maid of honor. The ceremony was immediatly followed by a blessing by a priest at a Catholic Cathedral called Igreja Matric in the historical city of Manaus. This was the first marriage by both newlyweds."

"Time Traveling in Akron, Ohio"

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Time travel expert speaks at ‘Young Inventors’ induction

Akron, Ohio — Dr. Ronald L. Mallett believes he’s on the verge of building the world’s first time machine.

A world-renowned Theoretical Physicist, Mallett appeared Saturday, April 30 at the National Gallery for America's Young Inventors 2005 Induction Ceremony. BTTF.com was a sponsor of the event with several DeLorean Time Machine models being signed by Mallett and raffled off to lucky winners.

As the keynote speaker, Dr. Mallett outlined his plans to prove Albert Einstein's theories which suggest time travel is possible. Referred to as one of the greatest minds since Einstein, Dr. Mallett is likely to succeed.

He was recently featured in a documentary on The Learning Channel (U.K.), along with Back to the Future creator and producer, Bob Gale. Mallett comments, "The program was well done, but unfortunately, I never got to meet (Bob) in person because they taped us separately, at different times."

Although an admitted fan of the BTTF films, Dr. Mallett's interest in time travel predates the famous trilogy.

When Mallett was only 10 years old, his father died of a heart attack. The young boy found solace in books, particularly H.G. Well's The Time Machine. "That became a kind of fascination for me," Mallett continues. "I had this idea that if I could go back in time and see my father, I could talk to him and help keep him alive."

Today, as a professor of Physics at the University of Connecticut, Dr. Mallett generates a lot of attention from his work in general relativity and gravitation as it relates to time travel. Fascinating details can be found at: www.phys.uconn.edu/faculty/mallett.html

— Oliver Holler, Contributing Writer

Biff emailed me!

To: Angela
Subject: Re: BIG POP FUN Feedback

Thank you very much, Angela!
Tom

----- Original Message -----
From: "Angela" abayout5@excite.com
To: info@tomwilsonusa.com
Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2005 9:40 AM
Subject: BIG POP FUN Feedback>
Below is the result of your feedback form:>
It was submitted by: Angela (abayout5@excite.com)> on Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 12:40:10> --------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
found_out: BTTF.com>>

comments: I would just like to compliment you on your lovely and bright artwork. And, I love* Back to the Future.
>> --------------------------------------------------------------------------->>

Science is cool

Reading this article about a Pitt engineering professor and his student who found a new way to remove mercury from power plant emissions, I think that I want to do that too. Fuck this poetry shit. Science is cool. There is a delicate and intanglible purpose to all this writing, though it's not like the results one could get from building a little robot and make it do sumersalts, or making robots that would replace ten jobs at a car plant. I should have gone to Cal Tech and been a cosmoslogist. Though, they make up math problems to plot things that aren't seen, just like I make up phrases and sometimes words to "plot" other things that aren't seen. So, cosmology would, in some ways, be the same writing poems. That's what makes both of them so cool!

"...a raving lunatic..."

-From the Post Gazette, March 21, 2005...

"Kids' abuse of over-the-counter cold medicine on the rise

By Alana Semuels

Sharon Smith found the empty packets of cold medicine and bottles of cough syrup in her son's room, but he told her the medications made him feel intelligent and invincible, just as he had learned from the Internet.

It's just cold medicine, he rastionlized. How much harm could it do?

But, it did not take long for Smith's son to turn from a shy, easygoing teenager into what she calls 'a raving lunatic.' He would drink four bottles of cough syrup at a time , or swallow tablets of Coricidin Cough and Cold, and become furiously angry and violent, breaking things in his house and punching the wall.

Since then, he's been in and out of the hospital, incarcerated twice, and plagued with mental health problems that doctors say might affect him for the rest of his life.

"You can take a sweet, loving child and they become something that you are afraid of..."

Essence of A

I stole this template below from someone's journal.

time started: 12:39 AM

full name: Angela Kristen Bayout
nickname(s): Ange
birthday: 10.17.83
where were you born: Pittsburgh, PA
zodiac sign: libra
hair color: dark brown, now it's a little reddish
eye color: brown
shoe size: 8, 8 1/2
grade: going on 16th grade!
GPA: 3.7
siblings: Allan, 17
tattoos: bluebird on my shoulder. Actually, upper left back, behind my shoulder
piercings: 13. 6 in each ear and one for my chubby tummy
favorite color: red
food: chocolate
candy: oh, chocolate
pizza topping: extra cheese
cereal: Count Chocula
fruit: strawberries, cherries, peaches, green apples, pineapple
vegetable: canned green beans, broccoli, and asparagus
cake: Dairy Queen ice cream cake
book: I hate that question because I never can think of any. The first thing that came to mind right now was Wuthering Heights, but that’s not my favorite. Though, no one asked for a favorite.
movie: Flashdance. There’s a movie for you.
website: this looks good.
tv show: Nip/Tuck, but it hasn’t been on in a while… these days its syndicated Law and Order at 3 and 4 pm, when I’m home.
music group: U2, White Stripes, Neko Case, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Velvet Underground, Patti Smith, so on. The Kills most recently.
day of the week: a good one
month: October.
season: Autumn.
holiday: I suppose Halloween to keep with the scheme. Yeah, it’s Halloween.
number: 1,017
weekend activity: sleep in
hangout: sure.
sport to play: shopping, walking
animal: birds
flower: wildflowers
guy's name: James
girl's name: Sara
story from childhood: Snow White
body part: hands or feet, or teeth

have you ever…
been on a train: nope. Would like to.
been on a plane: yes. I like planes
been in a car accident: once, it was stupid.
caused a car accident: no,
burned a potato chip: I suppose after I ate it, the jumping jacks in the kitchen burned it off, though the forced vomiting got rid of it faster.
smoked: yes, and sometimes, sometimes, I get carried away nowadays, like the one night about a month ago with Crystal…
been drunk: of course
been high: yes, you’re not missing much
broken the law: both unintentionally and intentionally
burned a cd (if yes, the one above is yes): I suppose after I ate it, the jumping jacks in the kitchen burned it off, though the forced vomiting got rid of it faster.
kissed someone of the opposite sex: yes
kissed someone of the same sex: yes
frenched an animal: Oh God! beastiality it a no-no!
made out: yes.
gotten engaged: no way.
been rejected by a crush: yes.
loved: Yes~
made yourself cry to get out of trouble: not on cue.
cried in public: try not to.
cried over a movie: yes, and I get made fun of for it.
fallen asleep in a movie theater: don’t think so, but I might have when my dad took me to see the first Star Wars prequel.
skied: When my dad got my brother and I a video camera for Christmas one year, and we filmed ourselves sledding down the dinky hill on the side of our house, and then we tried to snowboard on the sled…
met the president: I know the president of Carlow’s SGA.
met a celebrity: I guess. I’ve waited on news anchors at my old work. Also, I was very close to meeting the “Inconceivable” guy from The Princess Bride not too long ago.
gotten a cavity: yes, but not in a long, long time. These chompers are A++ Gold Star!
made a prank call: oh yeah.
skipped school: yes.
faked sick to get out of school: yes.
purchased something that you knew didn't fit: yes, but only because I really liked it. I made myself fit.
climbed a tree: yes.
fallen from a tree: no
broken a bone: nope.
sprained anything: no. I guess I’m more of an indoor girl.
passed out: no. Oh wait, yes, and Stacy let me throw up all night in her garbage can and, that was a really bad time.
been to Disney World: yes.
been to a theme park (not disney): yeah, Busch Gardens in Virginia is fun!
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative): I think so, but that would depend on the definition of "love." I sound like Bill Clinton.
made a model volcano (working model): no, everyone else was doing, why should I have?
made a clover leaf with your tounge: can’t do it.
what did you do yesterday: was off from work, stayed in my pjs until after noon, started watching The Two Towers but lost interest, traded in some books for cash, got a hot fudge sundae with Spanish peanuts at Dairy Queen with my mom.
memory you miss the most: I really can’t think of anything
something you regretted after it was done: The person I stole this from said “I have no regrets” and I don’t believe them. To me, that means you feel you’ve never made a mistake, so there’s little you could have learned from. Maybe I have a thing against that idea because Madonna is known for saying “absolutely no regrets” and Madonna should just stop. I regret some things, but it's nothing to dwell over.

the last…
song you heard: Neko Case “Hex”
cd you bought: Nico, Chelsea Girls. and then I ate Necco wafers
thing you said: hrm, probably something to my dad, we were watching tv together, can’t remember what I said. I was about to go to bed, and then I got distracted, and now here I am doing this crazy thing at 1:19 AM.
time you cried: today.
movie seen in a theater: Robots with Ashley, I think.
thing you ate: a chicken salad. it was okay.
person who called: wasn’t for me, that’s for sure.
nail polish shade worn: dark red my friend Ellie gave me for my last birthday
time you showered: last night. surprisingly, it was not 10 minutes ago.

at this moment:
what are you listening to: Still “Hex” by Neko Case, because I accidentally started the song over.
what are you wearing: Spider Man pj pants, gray cardigan, and my Pitt basketball t-shirt I bought while with Ashley freshman year, the day we tried to spend 5 or more hours at Sciulli’s, but after a series of events, we ended up witnessing the Second Coming when the sun followed Christopher Walken into my dorm room…
how many people are on your buddy list: 23

do you believe in
heaven: no.
hell: no.
angels: maybe.
devil: Soy El Diablo
god: I suppose, not in a conventional cut and dry way, though
aliens: yes
ghosts: yes
spirit (soul): yes
soulmates: good friends are better.
reincarnation: yes
love at first sight: no.
karma: yes I experience it from time to time.
love in general: it’s such a broad word, I can’t say whether or not.
luck: I think I’m a lucky person
yourself: not often enough.

crush
who and when was your first crush: David Bowie on the Diamond Dogs album when I was very young. Also, when Twin Peaks first came on tv, my dad let me watch it, and I liked Kyle MacLachlan.
any now: no, but I should find one, it’s a good distraction. There’s that cute nerdy boy at the library that rides the 54C after we close…
a celebrity crush: Katie Holmes
who do you want to be with right now: Joe
whose number do you want: the person’s ahead of me in the deli line.
who do you want to kiss: Jonathan! I should have tackled him that one day when I was wearing my cherry skirt…
if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be: date? I guess someone with a lot of money and a nice car and would buy me anything I wanted and take me anywhere I wanted to go, so for one night I can be a shallow, gold digging, hot girl.
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you: threve
is it right to flirt if you're taken: whatever, does it really matter anyway?
do you want to hug somebody right now: sure. Any time is a good time for a hug!
do you know what an aphrodisiac is: uh, yeah.

one or the other…
coke/pepsi: Coke. Caffeine free Coke is best. Diet, no.
gold/silver: silver.
vanilla/chocolate: chocolate.
flowers/candy: candy.
book/magazine: book.
glass half empty/half full: glass should be full of strawberry milkshake.
democrat/republican: the lesser of two evils. Hahaha.
colored pencils/markers: permanent markers on the inside of the bathroom door.
coffee/tea: decaf coffee with 2 sugars and cream so that it’s the color of caramel. Chamomile tea.
sun/moon: moon.
day/night: night.
hot/cold: warm
dog/cat: cat
button/zipper: zippy
blue/purple: blurple
plumber/trashman: trashman.
jeans/shorts: jeans. I don’t do shorts. If we call shorts “shorts” then why can’t we call pants, “longs?”
peanut butter/jelly: peanut butter.
waffles/pancakes: waffles
florida/california: Florida.
pizza/burgers: pizza.

miscellaneous:
do you shave: yes.
where: shh.
what size is your bed: single
what color crayon would you be: “marvelous.” smell the box of crayons.
what are the last four digits of you phone number: TROT, apparently, at least back at the dorms.
how long does it take you to shower: about 10 minutes.
is cussing a necessity in life: language is a necessity in life
how about coffee: no thanks
what’s something you cant live without: listeing to music
what time did you fall asleep: last night, maybe around midnight, early.
what do think about death: he’s a nice guy.
where and when do you want to be married: I don’t think I would like to get married.
what do you always think about: if I’m feeling all right, it’s good to address your feelings to yourself. Otherwise, potatoes.
do you talk to yourself: yes she does.
what is your reaction to someone telling you you're hot: say “yeah, whatever” meanwhile I eat it up like poor kids eat Ramen noodles, smile and giggle.
what would you change your name to: Angela: Mistress of the Crocodiles.

time finished: 1:57 am

Duckorations

Here's another one of my super ideas. It's part of the Angela's Super Ideas Series. It's Duckorations and it's going to shake the country's tail feathers! They're decorations with a duck theme. For every holiday you can hang something up in your house that reminds of just how quacky ducks are. There are mallards dressed up like Santa Claus, scary witches, and more.

Who's in?

Somewhere there have got to be large mammals on ice

I wanted to go iceskating last night

Last night, my mom picked me up from work and then we went to eat at Drew's Resturant in Forrest Hills. We had a good time chatting and such. My mom later said, to our cat Leo, that it's fun to be with me because she can act fifteen and it be okay. That was very nice.

Then, since I didn't have to work today, I decided to watch TV as long as I could and wait for those leggy bugs to come crawling from the bathroom downstairs. We have those leggy, ugly, furry, brownish bugs in the house, and almost every night one skitters from the bathroom and across the ivory living room rug. I don't like to kill bugs. I don't really, but I also and skittish about killing big ugly bugs like that. Shut up! I am. It's okay. What's not okay is that I started watching Flashdance and decided I would watch the movie once and for all. Almost all my girlfriends just love, love, love that piece of crap movie. So I started watching it, seeing the same scenery and buildings I've seen almost everyday of my life (being that it was filmed in Pittsburgh) and just got bored. But, it did get me reminicing about when I was a young dreamer like that girl. Though I still have ambitions, I don't feel as impressionable and light headed as that girl did. I guess what I mean is that I feel like a cynical old brat.

And there was a scene where the dancer's friend was trying to show her how to ice skate, and that made me want to ice skate. I've only been 2 or 3 times, and over this past X-mas break I got the hang of it.

yum, celery and peanut butter

Anyway, in this independent journal I got for free, Elixir, there is a part of a poem by an MFA grad named Jenny Toups:

" They come down again--
the birds--sparrows, bluejays, robin red-breasts,
land on street lamps, tiled rooftops,
yards of rock. The world is built,
and built and built--
and still they come back down"

I always thougt that, too. I read it while on the 67A bus today.

Word of the Day
CHAUVINIST
Definition:someone prejudiced in favor of a group to which he or she belongs
Example:The attitude that men are inherently superior to women and therefore must be obeyed is common among male CHAUVINISTS.
Synonyms:bigot, elitist
Click here for pronunciationand full definition

Why is it that I never hear that word used any other way?

MARSHMALLOWS!!!

I always say that the stacks at the library smell like toated marshmallows. It's only when its warm, though, and lately it's been summertimey warm...so it smells like toasted marshmallows! YAY. Yay, yay, yay.
I was making a run for a patron, and it just hit me as I came back down the stack steps; Marshmallows!

Dinosours

My mom asked me, "Well how are they?" I said "I have to make them first! I have to get little dinosaur molds and candy recipes and a warehouse and a patent and someday Dinosours will be a reality."

We were watching a show on the Food Network about this candy shaped like Scottish Terriers and I said that once I had a great idea to make a candy shaped like dinosaurs, thus the above conversation. I got the clever idea when I was typing "dinosaurs" but I accidently replaced an O with the A. Dinosours! Later in class I drew a prototype on the board and explained it to the class. They will be dinosaur shaped hard candies with sour fruity flavors. There will be T-Rexes, Triceratops, and Teradactyles. Maybe even a line of prehistoric mammalia.

This is awesome! Who's in?

"The cosmic worms go in, the cosmic worms go out."

from the website:

"It has been noted that something out of the ordinary always seems to occur at these graveside tributes to H.P.L., often involving a sudden and dramatic change in weather conditions. To cite an example from the March 15, 1998, service, unanticipated snow flurries fell for the precise span of a dirge, sung by an attractive young woman clad in a black cape and hood. The sunshine then just as suddenly reappeared. At the following year's service, crows that had ominously gathered in the surrounding trees, seemingly to observe the assemblage, began loudly cawing as the lady's singing commenced. Also, inexplicable, vaporous distortions appear on some of the photographs taken during that service. At the service conducted on April 2, 2000, surprisingly forceful wind gusts seemed cued to the readings of Lovecraft's horror!"

Click on the link above and read more...

Why do hipsters suddenly appear...

This morning I went to Kiva Han on Craig for a hot chocolate. I thought to myself, as the girl with sort-of-my-haircut and the straight leg pants steamed my milk, "Why the hell do hipsters all work here?" It must be discrimination. I don't think that I am hip enough to work there, that's why I hang out at the library. The library is for people like me. I like to leave the desk every so often and run for a book or two. Then, I read them at the desk and zone out for a while. Can I do that at Kiva Han? Nope. I have to steam milk and look hip. Looking hip can't be easy either, no way. Here, I just have to wear some clothes. Kiva Han, I have to wear tight, straight leg pants and a novelty t-shirt. You know what, who am I fooling. I could fit right in. I look the role, I probably wouldn't have to audition. I bet if I wore my eyeglasses for the interview I would get right in. I don't even have to try to look this cool, though. I was born this way. Is it hip to ramble and forget what one was even talking about? Well, if so, again I am in. Still, I would rather be in the library.

...only, strawberries don't really vine.

seeds...

Here is a prose poem. My friend inspired me to write one like this. (I was also inspired by flossing and strawberries.) The puncuation is probably messed up. And, I still need a title.
...

I flossed last night in front of the bathroom mirror so I could see all white and bright, and there were strawberry seeds from this past May lodged the crevices of my teeth that began to germinate, sprout little buds, and there was one leaf in between my molars that I pulled on slightly so as to not rip it, but it needed a little more action, so I pulled harder and found a whole vine from my molars all the way to my stomach because when I tugged in it, something tickled the dome of my stomach and it made me laugh, it was the fuzzy green stems of strawberry plants crawling up my esophagus from my stomach where the rest of the strawberry seeds settled and started a home, and I kept pulling and pulling like I was reaching for an apparent bucket in a stone well, while star flowers along the fuzzy vine popped from the black of my throat, and the vine was so long I lost patience so instead of snapping it off or yanking hard enough for it to break, because I thought that may hurt me some, I skittered into the kitchen for the scissors in the junk drawer, the same scissors I use to cut my bangs, and then I shuffled back into the bathroom trying not to go too fast or else my slippers would fall off and I would trip, meanwhile I was trying not to trip over the vines tracing the planks of the hallway’s hardwood floor. In the mirror, I opened my mouth as wide as I could and probed the pointed blades as far back as I could, snipped the vine, and I had to use force for it was like cutting a wooden pencil the kids use in school, I coughed from the naked end of the vine and its milks streaming out of it and I swallowed the vine quickly and felt it slither back home and twine around itself down there in my stomach, meanwhile my throat and my chest felt like I had eaten a whole can of hot popped Coke in a hurry and I could have belched and hiccupped back shiny, red berries with green feathered hats and little freckles that get stuck in my teeth and nestle in the soil of my stomach.

Tara's frog died today.

Chilling with the ghosts

I was just looking through old posts, and two things kept reacurring. Andrew and Joe. The former has since deceased. I talked about my fish a lot, but he was my friend. I am becoming further aquainted with my goldfish, Gobi. Sometimes he nips my finger when I feed him, but only when others aren't watching. He gets nervous. I was considering getting another betta, Son of Andrew, but we shall see. I don't know if I want to establish yet another fish tank. Knowing myself well, however, chances are I will go to the fish store one evening and come home with $50 worth fish stuff, including a new betta. Since I have buried Andrew, I feel that he is finally gone. Poor kid, I'm still sorry...
And then there is Joe, who read my blog regularly and left nice comments every now and then. He's in jail for a while. For a little bit, that boy had me smitten and very optimistic. Now I am back to normal, clear headed even. I'm still disapointed. I really trusted him with my feelings, and blaa blaa blaa. I won't put down the boy where he can't defend himself. Just going through old posts and seeing his comments like they are live made me a little sad for ten minutes, maybe even twenty-five.
Reminicing is good every once and a while. When things seem foriegn it affirms growth. I like plants, they grow, and so do I, therefore I must like me, too. If I just keep that in mind, I can bloom flowers!
-What shall I name my next betta? I was thinking of Pin.B Fuelman.

Woman Breastfeeds Tiger Cubs

Apr 22, 9:05 AM (ET)

YANGON (Reuters) - Hla Htay has three hungry infants to feed these days -- a seven-month old baby boy and two Bengal tiger cubs.

Three times a day, the Myanmar housewife goes to the Yangon Zoo where she breastfeeds the hungry black-striped, orange-brown cubs rejected by their natural mother.

"The cubs are just like my babies," Hla Htay told Fuji TV as one of the baby big cats suckled her breast.

"It's not scary at all," she said of the 45-minute feeds. "I needed to do something for the cubs because I felt really sorry for them."

Three cubs were born at the zoo in mid-March, but their mother killed one and refused to nurse the others. Veterinarians rescued the other two but had little success bottle feeding them.

"They had some difficulties sucking the nipple on the bottle. When we tried to get the cubs to suck a lady's breast, it was alright," said a veterinarian.

The zoo says the breastfeeding will stop by the end of April or when the cubs start teething -- whichever comes first.

The Haunted Halls of Aquinas

Below are some pictures I took last week of Aquinas Hall, the small, red brick building I have had 90% of my classes in throughout college. For my Creative Non-Fiction class, I wrote a piece on it. Once it is revised and final, it will go in the Carlow Archives, and maybe posted here if I feel ambitious. The essay ended up taking on a cynical and ominous tone toward Aquinas, with Almighty God, Nietzsche, and spiders and cochroaches battling it out in the dungeon. I'm pretty proud of it, it turned out better than I thought. Maybe, though, that's just because I finished it about an hour ago, 1:30 AM, and I still have not gone the hell to sleep yet...Enjoy the sunsets on the Grotto and the detestable, green slime.

>>>

The Tower of Castle Aquinas
There is a black ladder on the top floor of Aquinas that leads up to this "tower." I bet there is a hunchback up there, but all he has in a couple of castanettes from Dr. Negoda rather than a bell. I don't know. I had to lay on my back to get this picture.

Catholic Essence
These stain glass windows are in almost every door in the building. I think they're pretty. The colors are like Easter eggs. They really add to the "Catholic-ness" of Carlow. Other buildings for the college students are newer and don't have the slightly neo-gothic look to them. These windows are one of the many things that give Aquinas the sort of character it has.

Spying on the Grotto
Next to the building is this lovely grotto. The scene in which Mary appears before St. Bernadette is replicated here, among plastic flowers, a cheap cherub lawn ornament, and cement benches that were once run over by a pick-up truck. This picture did not come out well, but I still like the way Mary and Bernatdette are sort of illuminated in their shadow.

Hey, where do those stairs go? They go up.
These are stairs leading into the newly remodeled basement of Aquinas, where the new MFA program is held. Respected writers come here every so often, former Poet Laureate Louise Gluck for example. Little did she know, but on the other side of the industrial door was a cavern, or "dungeon," with leaky walls as gateways for cockroaches. Sometimes it smells like a terribly neglected, decaying, wet, moldy basement of death just outside the door of Aquinas. This is why.

The Scarlet Lobster
There is a mural done by the Campus School kids (K-8 aged, rich, Catholic kids) in the tunnel (dungeon) under Aquinas. Kim, who was with me on the photo-journalism escapade, made sure I got a picture of the lobster.

Summertime on the Veranda

“I have to get some lye,” Port said, adjusting his brown fedora.

“Yes,” Magnolia replied, “and get the lavender scented lye soap. I like the way I smell after I bathe with the lavender lye soap.”

Port leaned up against the white railing of the veranda, watching the small breeze toy with the loose wisps of Magnolia’s dirty blonde hair. “In these kind of July afternoons, honey, I would grow lavender just for you.”

Magnolia winked Port’s way, baring her ivory teeth in a sly grin. With a snap of her creamy wrist, her lacquered fan opened exposing a Japanese print of a brown hummingbird spearing a cherry blossom.

“It’s a funny thing,” she began to say, “it can be as hot as a barbeque in Hell, but I will feel just as fine bathing in a tub of steaming water. Then, I sit out on the veranda.”

Port wanted her to continue. With his hands in the pockets of his buttermilk pants, he swung his glistening face toward Magnolia’s with an inquisitive smile.

She tilted her head and smiled again, away from him. A translucent rose had began to bleed under the thin skin of her cheeks. “Around five o’clock in the evening, after I get out of the steaming bath, I sit on the veranda. I feel like my skin is on fire. My fingers feel like cold milk but my arm is like hot chocolate.”

Port took his hat with his hand and wiped his forehead. “Like the boiling water we dunk the chickens in,” he said.

Magnolia was unsure how to retort while the blood drained from her cheeks. “Yes, yes I do believe.”

There was a hush over the veranda.

“Isn’t it time for the frogs to come out croaking?” she asked no one in particular.

“Magnolia, Magnolia,” Port chuckled, “It’s only 4:30 in the afternoon. And, I believe that I can say afternoon because, honey, it won’t get dark until late, late 9 o’clock. It will get pitch dark then. Damn dark.”

“Then, Port, you have a half an hour to find me lavender scented lye soap,” said Magnolia, clapping her lacquered fan closed.

Port tipped his hat and a pearl of sweat shimmied passed his lip.

“Okay then, bye bye now.” Magnolia backed toward the porch door waving her white gloved hand. “I have to get the water hot.”

Magnolia disappeared into the house, but before Port could leap off the last step of the porch she came back.

“Port, wait.” She held out her fist, stretching her arm as far as it went in front of Port.

“What’s this here?” he asked, his hands in his pockets and edging his sticky face toward Magnolia more and more.

She shook her fist without say a word, only smiling stiffly. Port did not comply.

“Here, here,” she insisted. Finally, he held out his palm. “These are dried lavender petals from Mama’s arrangement.”

In Port’s palm were about ten or twelve lavender petals, dried and with the texture of seeds. Their pallid violet-gray was admirable.

Port did not say another word as he concealed his hand with the lavender back into his pocket.

Tipping his head, there was a short shadow flashing over his brow from his brown fedora. Striding onto the path away from the house, Port periodically looked back at Magnolia as she backed into the house and heard the door lock behind her.

Vancouver pictures

Sunny English Bay by day

Future Shop and cable car wires

A Canadian Mounty and I

They have different walk signs in Canada

The inner spirit of the Vancouver Airport

Rock the keytar

English Bay with planes

English Bay with trees

PLATO'S CAVE

What I did in Ethics Thursday

I have never taken a Philosophy class at Carlow where I was not lectured on Plato's Cave. Existentialism, Logic, Aesthetics, Ethics, all these touched either briefly or in depth on the prisoner, the shadows, the sensible, and the intelligible. Dr. Stewart Loves Plato's Cave, hearts it with an arrow. He seems to love it so much, some of us Humanities majors call his office (which he shares with Carmine) "Plato's Cave." The three stick figures in the corner of my illustration above are the slightly phallic stick figures (copies, if you will, of the ultimate form) that Stewart draws when illustrating the Cave himself.

I did not feel I needed to take yet more notes on the subject, so I doodled the above. Will we ever escape?

Below is a drawing of the Cave I did for a grade in my freshman year Existentialism class. Note the extravagant colors. I took time on this sucker and I got an A+ on it. I will always remember to look for the intelligible world through Plato's Cave.

Artist's rendition of Plato's Cave by Angela Bayout, crayon and pencil on paper, 2002.

Taking a picture, taking a soul

On the front page of the New York Times yesterday, there was a picture of the Pope being carried through a crowd of people taking pictures of his dead body with digital cameras and picture phones. Girls were propped up on shoulders snapping shots at the dead Pope. His face looked painted but sunken in, and his mouth looked like it was sneering. It was an odd picture. A picture of people taking pictures of a dead Pope.

There is some culture, an Asian culture I think, that in their traditional beliefs say that mirrors steal a person's soul. I may be confusing that with something I thought I heard about cameras taking people's souls. But, apparently the Pope's soul was already gone, so maybe he doesn't have to worry. Whoever took the picture for the newspaper is responsible for the souls of all those people attempting to steal the soul of the Pope, though.

There was a herse in front of the convent yesterday. Dana told me a crazy story about a nun who was obsessed, Obe-sessed, with the Pope and did herself in when he died so they could be together in Heaven.

SMELL and the soaps

The Buffy the Backside Slayer soap smells like something I can't put my lye-ing finger on. Like olive oil, oatmeal, rice, almost mint oil smell.

The Rock Star soap smells like candy and Lip Smackers Passion Fruit and leaves pink trails on the tub.

The Karma soap smells like hippie. Patcouly and oranges.

The Farmer's Farmacy smells like lavender and chamomile tea.

And I still have the Dove "unscented" soap that smells like soft and water. And the Caress "berry" soap that smells like cherry and grape Kool-Aid mix. And, the Neutragena soap that looks like maple syrup and smells like mild man cologne.

My hands smell like the Buffy soap and beef jerky.