Last entry I said that I felt that things were going to pick up, that things were going to start happening. I do believe I was meaning that great things were going to happen, and they are, but not all neccessarily. What prompted me to write this here is that I was talking to Ringa today and I said to her, validly, that I was right, my intuition is always right on.
Basically, I just had a very nice weekend, nothing extravagant, just a good weekend. All I was, was happy. I woke up Sunday morning to the radio playing "Because the Night" by Patti Smith, which is a very hot song. All weekend was very well for me.
Sunday, Dana came across these vanilla flavored cigarettes, and even though I care not to smoke too much, they are damn good. I smoked 8 of them between yesterday and today, and don't feel a thing from them. They really are smooth and creamy, like the box says. Heh. Well, I was sitting at my window today watching the rain and I felt very happy, all at ease, just sitting there in my pj's smoking tasty cigarettes and thinking. I felt this happy about this time last year, maybe a little later, when Natalie and I sat outside the library talking, and I felt very content, and happy.
Dana and I just got back from a bus ride to Monroeville to indulge at Evergreen Chinese Buffet. The pouring rain was worth the trip.
Ealier today, Ringa did call with unhappy news. I wasn't very affected by it, but I was sad to hear Ringa sound sad. A professor at our college died over the weekend. She was both Ringa's and Dana's advisor, and Ringa worked with her on her tutorial. I can imagine how it must be to lose someone like that, who you were intellectual in touch with. Especially, for Ringa, this is to be her senior year when she must put together portfolios and projects, and she has to do it with someone she hasn't worked with for the passed 3 years. She was very sad.
Speaking of Ringa, she's had Hepatitus A for the last month. She will be fine, getting a lot better. Ringa has had a busy month. There have been a lot of changes for all of us, and it's all hitting us now. It's a big wave, and I knew it was coming. No suprise spoiled, I am actually very excited that I was right. Like, I sensed it or something. I have the 6th sense! I was telling Ringa, when I started 9th grade, I wrote a note to my friend Nicole telling her that 9th grade would be a big year for us. A lot of things did happen, normal 15 year old stuff, but that was also the year Columbine happened, and it was pretty traumatic for us.
I was thinking a lot this weekend about where I am and how I ended up there. I looked around my room in my apartment and really thought about where I was. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself in my room when I was 15, in that gray tank top I always wore writing about, probably the same stuff I am now. That's how I really felt that I was where I was right then. I am here, 20, living in an small apartment in Oakland. Sometimes, don't realize anything I am doing, and suddenly something hits me and I realize that I am quite alive and I exist.
So, here I am, here, and there, and doing stuff, like existing. So, yay.
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