The suburban mall...
Near the time I was to meet my little brother, who made me take him to the mall, I had my mental radio on The Clash's "Lost in the Supermarket."
"I'm all lost in the supermarket, I can no longer shop happily.
I came in here for a special offer, a guaranteed personality"

I used to spend whole afternoons there, after school before dinner, Friday and/or Saturday nights. I got a a total of ten ear piercings there, ate probably 80 servings of Manchu Wok Sweet and Sour Chicken, and 3000 Basken Robbins' Mocha Blasts, and roughly 45 hundred No. 1 combos at Chick-Fillet. Three pair of shoes I can clearly recall, 2 Adidas Superstars of odd color and 1 pair red Chucks. I've got infinity shirts on sale. 1 pair of plaid pants.
Rain or shine hot or cold. The Mall was my rat hole.

Early on though, in my stroll through the bazaar bazaar I spent about 1/4 of my teenage life at, I grew bored. Passing The Gap, I challenged myself to The Gap Game. My mission: to make it to the back of the store, touch the back wall, and make it out of the store without the interference of an employee. And about halfway through-going strong-I came upon a pair of black straight leg slacks, though a ridiculous $49.50, they looked just like I always dreamed, a pair of fucking plain black pants, and in my size, go figure. Fondling the inconvenient piles of oddly folded pants, still, no one approached me.

Could it be that I was in heavy black eyeliner, a 1982 Goodwill pirate looking shirt, and fading jeans with a flare of safety pins? I fear I was not Gap enough.

I tried on the pants, did not look how I expected, I did not fold them properly, I put them on top of the pile-the size 12 on top of the size 00. I think 00 is an imaginary number.

Still, I browsed. Still, alone. Alone. In The Gap. Utterly, cargo pantsed, alone.

Needless to say, I made it. A triumph I shared...Alone.

Then, I went a few stores down to the Wet Seal, (a clothing store called Wet Seal, but there were no aquatic mammals). They gave me two free shirts, a free pair of pants and a free jacket, an totally insane buy 1 get 2 free sale!

But most of all, the two girls working there were very helpful and nice. They set up a dressing room for me, helped me find black pants, and greeted me just as kindly as they did everyone.

--As opposed to walking into other stores where the kids (most likely younger than I) ignore me and rather greet the kids that look more like them. The girls at the Moist Aquatic Mammal store weren't dressed like me, so what gives man? Say Hi to me! I will say Hi back. But maybe, that's what they are afraid of...

Well, all was lost when I entered an American Eagle Outfitters looking for sandals. I still can't believe it, "Warsaw" by Joy Division playing in the store. Fucking Joy Division!!! I was so out of it, I thought in my head, "Whoa, I believe they are playing Gang of Four." Oh, but no, it was indeed-Joy Division. I wonder if the guy working there, who did not say Hi (and who obviously thought he was on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk) knew that song, that band.

I left the store, (imagining myself) knocking over racks of halter tops...

But, the Cherry Coke from the food court made it all right. The End