There are so many things I want to say today that I should write down that I forgot to say today that I should write down. Post-its, notepad, pen, pencil, lipstick, napkin, hand, permanent marker, forehead, backwards for the mirror.

But otherwise, today I saw that Jack White is on trial and will be sentenced today for beating up this guy*.
*(It was the lead singer of the Von Bondies, who were in Pittsburgh this passed Friday and I missed because I have no car, trapped at the 'rents home in the 'burbs)

He could be sentenced for up to a year in prison!

AND I HOPE HE GOES TO JAIL!

He ought to. Celebrities usually get off easy. If he wasn't "Jack White" he'd just be Jack White, that asshole who beat up some guy, and go to jail. I mean, if I were playing Monopoly with Jack White and he landed on the "GO TO JAIL" spot, he would have to go, and I would not give him my "Get out of JAIL free card."

Plus, it would be good for his image as a blues-punk-alt country sort of musician. Also for his big thing about going back to the older, more charming ways (the kind of throwing-your-coat-over-a-puddle-for-a-woman type things).
---Writing forsaken love letters with the penitentiary stationary to a lovely girl whose parents reject him and his "sins." The girl sneaks letters through the gate of her home to the lonely letter boy, who then delivers them to the prison guard. The letters, wrapped in red ribbon, are tear stained inside and smell of a cheap, yet sweet perfume...Jack spends his days weight lifting those pallid arms, reading the Bible, making license plates, and writing letters to Miss Suzy Lee, the girl I was speaking of. And since this is supposed to be a quaint story, there is no butt fucking.

So yeah, I think Jack White should go to jail.